Cleveland for 5 days

So you find out you have to go to Cleveland for work. Major sad trombone (http://www.sadtrombone.com/) goes off in your head. Frankly, it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be (probably due to the magical influence of LeBron James), but it’s still pretty lame. Still, I will try to pick out some highlights.

Cleveland feels strange. It feels like a city that should be larger or was larger at some point. SO it’s the bones of a large city. The buildings have an importance that I didn’t really get from the population, like maybe the population of Providence should be moved there to help fit the vibe of the buildings better. I stayed at the Embassy Suites—score Hilton Honors points. The room was nearly as big as my condo and in good repair, so that was kind of great. Embassy Suites can be pretty cool (though occasionally ghetto in décor and upkeep) because of the made to order complimentary breakfast; though being a night person, I almost never get there to eat it before my training sessions. But my trainees thought it was the bee’s knees, so there you go. This particular Embassy Suites…I would recommend it, but there were occasionally smells. Like a sewer smell emanating from the bathroom area near the training room. And the training room was too hot every day despite calling engineering about it…every day. There was a sketchy underground mall with a sports bar and grocery store right outside the hotel, so that was fine for trainee lunches. And the smells of the Subway sandwiches next door waft through the front of the building. The best lunch find was this tiny little deli in the IMG building a few blocks away. Cash only, run by one woman who makes everything herself, it seems, and tries to be organic in her offerings. It was some of the best chicken salad and chicken and dumpling soup I have ever had. So unexpected from the look of the place. And you owe it to your life to get one of the chocolate pecan cookies if she has them. Holy God.

The food word of the trip was pierogies, which can apparently be attributed to the large Slavic population in the area. There is even an area called Slavic Village and there are onion-domed churches visible from the freeway to the airport, which is a treat, onion domes being one of the all-time best architectural features. For dinner one of my trainees found a place called Melt that does grownup grilled cheese sandwiches. The one I chose was a grilled cheese sandwich with pierogies on it.

Crazy right? I dug it, though the textures were funky and there was a celeryish flavor on the lettuce that was overwhelming. Also, crazy enough, the chili cheese on the fries--made the fries worse. This has never happened to me, but seriously, the chili is like too high class to be put on fries and it sucked. But the tofu with bbq sauce was delicious. And I actually dug the enormous pierogies on their own. Now, the hour and a half wait on a weeknight? yeah I probably wouldn’t do that again. The place that I ended up loving most (well, maybe tied with the little deli in the IMG building) also had a pierogie element to it; Tucky’s, which was a few doors down from the hotel. They have some great hot dogs, one of which is the Cleveland dog, which is served with stadium mustard and fried pierogies on top. YES! Super good. Also tantalizing was the pretzelogna sandwich, a garlic bologna and cheese grilled sandwich on a soft pretzel. Wow. So awesome (for me but maybe not my neighbors afterward!). But that pretty much sums up the best part of Cleveland to me. In my job as ambassador to friends and family everywhere I went to Ethiopian food with my friend Karina’s parents at a place called Empress Taytu. It had some decent food. I sort of loved the juxtaposition of the Ethiopian huts and sunken straw basket tables that was all built up in a 1920s building with white crown molding. The Ethiopian music videos were also hilarious and sort of hypnotic in their homemade way. Also interesting was the empty corridor of road we drove getting from the hotel to the restaurant. There were lots of empty, sad buildings and factories.

I was going to go to the rock and roll hall of fame, and then I didn’t because I had a good book to finish. The Hall stays open til 9pm on Wednesdays. But I hear that it really deserves like 5-6 hours and I had 2 hours and it’s a 22 dollar admission fee. SO maybe it isn’t the best after-work activity. My trainees thought it was great, though. The building was designed by IM Pei to look both like a record player and the neck of a guitar. I went by it and also went to see the infamous Cuyahoga River, which once caught on fire because it was so polluted. Burn on, big river. Makes me want to watch Major League!

spirit of the red horse and the grand canyon

One thing to remember when you fly is to try and figure out which side of the plane awesome natural sights will be out of. It's a major bummer to be sitting on the right side of the plane flying from San Diego to Chicago and have the captain say "on the lefthand side of the plane you are going to get a good look at the Grand Canyon." A quick trip to google maps can help with this. Anyway, it's something I do so that when I make my reservations I choose seats on the side that will probably have better views. Then again, I love window seats and staring out of said windows.

What is up with the Spirit of the Red Horse stores? Is there really that much demand for dreamcatchers? Or like, you get to the airport and realize you forgot your lucky amulet and miniature medicine man? Oh no, my turquoise jewelry! I left it all at home. If only there were a place for me to buy a whole new collection... Anyway, this store totally baffles me. It would still baffle me but be somewhat understandable in, say, New Mexico or Arizona. But...Chicago? Baltimore? Philly?

Chicago O'Hare

If O'Hare's goal for my life today was to exercise my short limbs, they succeeded parlessly. A system glitch and 2 gate changes. Because my frequent flier miles are with United, I have become intimately acquainted with the layout and quirks of O'Hare. For people who don't travel through here much, this airport is maddening, but familiarity makes it more homey. I realized I had passed that point when I deplaned and looked at the screen and automatically a) knew that I was headed to Crapville, O'Hare because my flight was out of the F terminal and b) turned right and started cataloguing the food options I knew were on the way between B and F. That includes, by the way, 3 starbucks, auntie anne's pretzels, mcdonalds, johnny rockets, chili's too, a lackluster wolfgang puck, a few Hudson News stands, the le vosges chocolate stand, a brioche doree, and two pizza/chicago hot dog stands.

Let's talk about the F terminal. If you fly into C or B you are in a high-ceilinged corridor lined with chicago-themed stores and a plethora of food options. It's busy, but light and generally navigable. As you head through the corridor toward the E and F gates suddenly everything becomes very LaGuardian; the ceilings get lower and the halls get about 15 feet narrower despite not seeming to have any fewer passengers. Today the temperature also felt like it went up at least 10 degrees. Maybe because there were just as many people and less space for all that body heat to escape. Anyway, it heightens the sense that you are heading into the bowels of hell. Also, previously decent stores and food options slowly fade away until all you have in a 10 gate radius is a Brookstone and a Hudson News. It seems the F terminal only really services flights to unenticing places and they have fashioned the terminal to reflect everyone's eventual destination. The only good thing that has ever come out of the F terminal in my experience was that Cal Ripken Jr.'s flight to the College World Series was delayed and I got a picture with him.

The E terminal has a little more to recommend itself, a Starbucks, bookstore, and a Fox Sports hub that, currently, has one tv playing Dora and Diego's adventure to Antarctica. Maybe it's less busy and that's why it seems lighter and slightly less heinous than the F.

Highlights of O'Hare would be the cool Rhapsody in Blue light extravaganze in the underpass between the C and B terminals and then the decorative benches (one is of the Van Gogh painting Bedroom in Arles) and glass decorations hanging from the ceiling in the space leading from B to E,F.

I have actually been fairly impressed by O'Hare. When I first started traveling regularly for work people were lamenting my choice of United because of the Chicago and Denver hubs and those cities' penchant for craptacular weather. But I have actually only had one flight cancelled for weather. Today I am flying to Cleveland. Stop the envy. My airplane is currently sitting on the tarmac at Colorado Springs. You always know a delay is caused by another airport when you see plenty of planes taking off and landing around you and only your flight is mysteriously delayed by like 4 hours.