El Paso

I am en route to El Paso. That’s right, El Paso, Texas, the border town to Ciudad Juarez the latter of which is the home of many many murders and a very disturbing trend of dead ladies in shallow graves (or completely untraceable graves.) Looks like a fun week of exploring the Embassy Suites is surely ahead. (later update) The hotel guide said that no trip to El Paso would be complete without a trip to Juarez, but my group of 25 trainees all emphatically stressed that I should not go there and that, in so many words, it could complete all my trips ever in life by resulting in death. So don't trust that El Paso Embassy Suites travel guide, is the short summary. You will however, notice that the golden lights of Juarez are particularly beautiful seen from above on the hills of El paso. Also, re: the Embassy Suites, it was a totally decent hotel, not totally top of the line as far as decor, but has a great high ceilinged atrium where you can watch whatever sporting event is on, and free cocktails from like 530-730 pm!

My flight was delayed but rarely do I find myself in so sunny a mood. Maybe it's the 3 days of exercise last week or the ridiculous amount of space in my seat right now despite being in coach on a completely full flight. By the way, I need to note which aircraft United is using to fly from Denver to San Diego because it is definitely roomier than their typical craft.) I was also pleasantly surprised that despite San Diego being a complete cluster-f of a fog delay, the United staff took a page from Southwest and were actually being jokey and lighthearted versus their usual humorless menopausal vibe.

Does anyone know if seltzer water is as good for you as non-carbonated water? I do prefer it so and I always get that with a lime when flying.

The El Paso airport is surprisingly nice and has a few Mexican restaurants (Carlos and Mickeys is apparently locally famous? My trainees recommended it, but I had already gone to Moe's whcih is also locally famous and suuupper delicious. if you like green chiles the green enchiladas covered with piles of green chiles will be a real delight) and a Starbucks. You don't need to stay out past security to eat at Carlos and Mickeys or get coffee at Starbucks--they have both those and a Pizza Hut after you go through security to the gate area.

My father told me that upon disembarking in El Paso I may want to start crying because it is such a dump of a city. Luckily, past experiences in BFE Louisiana alligator country (aka Marksville) have strengthened me for such a prospect. And actually (updating a few days later) this turns out to not have been the case. I decided to attempt to not mentally check out and just sit in my undies watching football and playing Facebook Scrabble all week, so I looked up some touristy things to do and I actually went out and did them. One night I went on something called the Mission trail and found a bunch of fantastic old churches, one of which is the oldest continually used church in America, The Ysleta Mission(top)—dating back from like 1642. The others, Socorro (middle) and Elizario (bottom) had wonderful architecture. The churches were linked by small towns that might as well just be in the neighboring state of Chihuahua, Mexico. Except marginally safer, I assume. There is an unabashed love of bright jewel toned paints that would be banned by any suburban America HOA and that’s the trail that wends between the missions.








On my way back from the missions I got caught in one of the craziest storms I could ever have imagined. First I came to a stoplight and I thought it was really foggy and then I realized that it was actually sand being blown in such a fury that it made everything in the distance look foggy. The wind was blowing things all over—I found out that two of the public housing developments at the agency I was working with lost their roofs that night! Anyway, then after the windsandstorm, I got caught in a lightning and rain storm that was epically beautiful and hard to drive in. We never get good lightning in San Diego and so I was just on the road watching huge bolts light up the whole sky. It was so beautiful I started applauding in my car. Because I am that person. Sarcastic as hell peppered with childlike wonderment.

Anyway, I also went in search of a famed local establishment called Chico’s Tacos whose tacos are totally weird, and yet completely addictive. They are basically taquitos with piles of cheese, but then you pour this hot, watery, mild salsa on the tacos and it melts the cheese and, I don't know, suddenly elevates to greatness. There are only like 4 Chico's Tacos in El Paso with a very basic menu of tacos, hot dogs, hamburgers and fried. A set of 6 taquitos is 3.86. Highly worthwhile.

Apparently driving 80 miles to see the White Sands National Monument in New Mexico would also be worthwhile, but um, it's closed at night and no you CAN'T see the dunes in the dark. So you should only do this during the day. That may seem obvious to people who have common sense or approach life with a plan, and that is basically not me. Nor is it obvious to a certain dopey Missile Range security guard who urged me to keep going 30 miles to the dunes in the pitch black because "ma'am, they are white, like the lines on the road." yeah, well, even if they are you can't see them from the highway!

Airport bathrooms

The unexpected enemy of the airport traveler is the bathroom door. It might not be evident, but travel enough and you will curse every architect or designer (or whomever is responsible for designing bathroom doors) who designs a bathroom door that is a) narrow and b) opens to the inside of the stall. Inevitably you are traveling with some sort of luggage. If it is just a large bag, then getting it in a narrow door is annoying. If it is rolling, then manouevering into a narrow stall is more annoying. If you are manouevering your roller case into a stall that is both narrow and the door opens into the stall, you want to cry as you heft your bag closer and closer to the toilet and scoot yourself around the bag and the toilet to close the stall. And scoot everything again when the bathroom door keeps grazing your luggage and not closing. Repeat when finished bathrooming. Sometimes I sit on the toilet for a few extra seconds just to avoid having to get up and do this again. But, ah, the sweet ease of a toilet stall whose door opens outward. Oh sure you have a slight risk of bumping someone as you exit. But who cares? You just rolled your bag and self into the stall with one fell swoop and closed the door around you. *relief* I plan on reporting here the airports who do and do not have said doors, but i need to revisit many of them to be sure :) I know for sure San Diego is an offender, since it is my home airport.


Good:
San Jose

Bad:
San Diego
Chicago O'Hare--but at least you can just wave your hand at the sensor and get a new plastic cover for your toilet and don't have to worry about freaking hoverers and their spillage. ALso, O'Hare has bathrooms that open outward for the disabled. SO someone was thoughtful, but alas for just a moment.

2 hours in the Denver Airport

After what I think may be at least 10 Denver layovers I am actually just now starting to begrudgingly admit some decent aspects of the Denver Airport. The layout of the airport is sort of terrible. It is basically a long straight line. So, ala Phoenix sky harbor, you might end up taking about 10 moving sidewalks to get to your gate, which is terrible for short layovers. But this is a problem endemic to any hub. Chicago O’Hare is not linear but labyrinthine and have fun getting from gate C to D,E, or F. yet somehow it frustrates me less than the interminably long airports.

Anyway, in the middle of the unending B concourse in Denver is this little cluster of restaurants and stores. Usually shops that aren't food and gift related baffle me. like who is going to buy a Dale Chihuli knockoff while running through an airport? Anyway, one of my recent store finds in Denver is called Bella and is an anti-aging, perfume, and hair product gloryland. I have now spent 2 long layovers lathering myself in anti-aging moisturizers, delightful perfumes, and various high-end makeup products. The girls in the store are pretty hands off so you are pretty well able to test with ease. They have a lot of mid/high end brands like Ren, Skyn, Juice Bar, Murad, and Ahava and some that I can’t remember or pronounce. Many of their skin products are organic and vegan which is fun, but just means you have to smell before you put them on your skin. For instance some expensive greek wild rose moisturizer smelled more like the fertilizer the roses sat in rather than having even a hint of rose. And the last thing you want to do when you are about to spend many hours stationary is have your craptastic smelling skin scent wafting over you. Anyway, now when I know I am going through Denver I make sure to put on no face product or hair product and then I just go to town in there. Of course there is the threat that you will find, oh, say some of the best Lippmann nail colors in history, or a Ren cooling eye gel that is like ocular heaven and will end up spending money. It’s a risk. Another risk: as I write this I have metallic nailpolish drying and my face and hair are like an overmoisturized, shining organic beacon.

In the same little B concourse complex is the Wolfgang Puck upstairs. Now, Wolfgang Puck restaurants have become ubiquitous in airports across the country and it’s always a solid choice though some offer far better selections than others. For instance, I always find a Chicago hot dog more compelling than the menu offerings at the Wolfgang Puck in O’Hare. But anyway, the Wolfgang Puck in Denver has this incredible fresh-off-the-spit rotisserie chicken that you can ask to have paired with a baby greens salad dressed with balsamic vinaigrette and some parmesan or goat cheese on top and it’s like, God in heaven, the best freaking airport meal ever. I keep meaning to try something else and I cannot force myself because the chicken is just glorious and with the acid of the balsamic vinaigrette, just wow. Wow. It also feels healthier than other potential choices (probably due to lack of carbs) though undoubtedly the chicken is smothered with like some kind of fatty crack butter and the salad is in an oil slick. But it *feels* better than other meals especially since the de facto sides for the chicken are all heavily creamy and carby like some delicious looking macaroni and cheese. It just feels better to be like, "no, I want baby greens salad on the side." someone will likely report in the near future that the baby greens salad has more calories than the macaroni and cheese side. Whatever, still totally worth it. Across from there is the caribou coffee whose Americano is perfectly agreeable and whose sugar free caramel syrup is pretty tasty. When I finally try the honey almond latte of fame I will let you know, but I have usually already trucked in with my starbucks from the san diego terminal with its army of filipino baristas, and am too caffeinated for another 3 shots so quickly.