1. There is an unexpected, but mesmerizing, art installation in the Denver airport hidden in the corner where you turn to go from the B80-90s gates into the main B terminal 60s and lower. It has grass and shadows. It's inexplicable, but I sort of love it. (or it might be easily explicable but I don't have time to check it out)
2. Why does the Caribou coffee close so early? narf. If you are going from the B80-90s to the main terminal you'll have to get starbucks if you have a night flight. People, your target clientele has jetlag and/or coffee as the main ingredient replacing water in their veins!
3. The Denver payphone seats all have coveted outlets, but not really enough room to use your laptop easily. whatever, it's good to know when all the terminal outlets are taken.
4. the man who makes the announcements in O'Hare sounds almost exactly like Barack Obama. It always throws me off. "This is your president telling you not to run and and there is no smoking in the main terminal, you need to find a designated smoking area."
5. United, your new 1st class snack box is nasty. The only good things are the olives and, begrudgingly, the chocolate chip cookies, two foods which do not complement each other. Why do the Kettle Chips taste like that? Kettle chips are usually delicious; these taste vaguely automotive. Why would you choose parmesan as your cheese spread? As a cheese lover, I know parmesan is mildly biting at best and offensive at worst. It smells. If you want to be truly offensive, just choose bleu cheese and be done with it. otherwise. garlic and herb. or cheddar. listen to the vox populi of cheese. and the crackers and italian breadsticks are like sawdust.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Better than first class?
Fact. The people in coach are nicer than the people in first. I could give a number of anecdotal stories to support this, but I can tell you from firsthand experience that when I get upgraded to first, the asshole part of my brain increases fivefold. I suddenly feel entitled to things I wasn’t entitled to mere minutes earlier. I become an aisle person instead of a window person. Why? Because I don’t want to ask the jerk on the aisle in first to get up because I know that they felt entitled to being the king (or queen, but sadly first is a big sausage fest still. Oh gender equality, how far away you are) of their domain.
The funny thing about the whole upgrade race is that if you’re flying domestic, with the exception of departing from a large city on a flight that is connecting internationally, first class is kind of like crappy business class from the 80s. It’s generally nice to get the upgrade; you get a good seat, free food (if the flight is long enough), better service, and free Bailey’s (or the a.m. or p.m. cocktail(s) of your choice) in your coffee, sure. And that might be enough for you, along with the pretentious thrill of being able to say, like Fergie, that you are traveling first class up in the sky. But if you really are concerned with comfort, leg room, and not being disturbed when people have to go to the bathroom, the exit row in coach is your secret haven, a weapon you don't even have to get upgraded to use. If you get the window seat you also typically get a few extra inches on the window side because of the indent. This is excellent for sleeping and computer use. Also, unlike first class, you have enough leg room to get out and go to the bathroom without making your seatmates get up. One tip: if the plane has two exit rows in succession (like the airbus 320) the seats in the first of the rows don’t fully recline (I assume because they could potentially block that second exit row if they reclined too far back). In my opinion, still better than first class, all things considered. So, whenever I have the option of choosing my seat at the outset, I always go for exit row window. Sometimes I'm even secretly disappointed to get upgraded.
Currently I am in O’Hare hijacking a precious electrical outlet. Not only have many a laptop holder looked at me with sad longing, but even a few pilots (suck it, captains) have seen with great disappointment that I have found and dominated this scarce resource. I should probably offer to share. But I’ve been upgraded to first on my next flight.
The funny thing about the whole upgrade race is that if you’re flying domestic, with the exception of departing from a large city on a flight that is connecting internationally, first class is kind of like crappy business class from the 80s. It’s generally nice to get the upgrade; you get a good seat, free food (if the flight is long enough), better service, and free Bailey’s (or the a.m. or p.m. cocktail(s) of your choice) in your coffee, sure. And that might be enough for you, along with the pretentious thrill of being able to say, like Fergie, that you are traveling first class up in the sky. But if you really are concerned with comfort, leg room, and not being disturbed when people have to go to the bathroom, the exit row in coach is your secret haven, a weapon you don't even have to get upgraded to use. If you get the window seat you also typically get a few extra inches on the window side because of the indent. This is excellent for sleeping and computer use. Also, unlike first class, you have enough leg room to get out and go to the bathroom without making your seatmates get up. One tip: if the plane has two exit rows in succession (like the airbus 320) the seats in the first of the rows don’t fully recline (I assume because they could potentially block that second exit row if they reclined too far back). In my opinion, still better than first class, all things considered. So, whenever I have the option of choosing my seat at the outset, I always go for exit row window. Sometimes I'm even secretly disappointed to get upgraded.
Currently I am in O’Hare hijacking a precious electrical outlet. Not only have many a laptop holder looked at me with sad longing, but even a few pilots (suck it, captains) have seen with great disappointment that I have found and dominated this scarce resource. I should probably offer to share. But I’ve been upgraded to first on my next flight.
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