Better than first class?

Fact. The people in coach are nicer than the people in first. I could give a number of anecdotal stories to support this, but I can tell you from firsthand experience that when I get upgraded to first, the asshole part of my brain increases fivefold. I suddenly feel entitled to things I wasn’t entitled to mere minutes earlier. I become an aisle person instead of a window person. Why? Because I don’t want to ask the jerk on the aisle in first to get up because I know that they felt entitled to being the king (or queen, but sadly first is a big sausage fest still. Oh gender equality, how far away you are) of their domain.

The funny thing about the whole upgrade race is that if you’re flying domestic, with the exception of departing from a large city on a flight that is connecting internationally, first class is kind of like crappy business class from the 80s. It’s generally nice to get the upgrade; you get a good seat, free food (if the flight is long enough), better service, and free Bailey’s (or the a.m. or p.m. cocktail(s) of your choice) in your coffee, sure. And that might be enough for you, along with the pretentious thrill of being able to say, like Fergie, that you are traveling first class up in the sky. But if you really are concerned with comfort, leg room, and not being disturbed when people have to go to the bathroom, the exit row in coach is your secret haven, a weapon you don't even have to get upgraded to use. If you get the window seat you also typically get a few extra inches on the window side because of the indent. This is excellent for sleeping and computer use. Also, unlike first class, you have enough leg room to get out and go to the bathroom without making your seatmates get up. One tip: if the plane has two exit rows in succession (like the airbus 320) the seats in the first of the rows don’t fully recline (I assume because they could potentially block that second exit row if they reclined too far back). In my opinion, still better than first class, all things considered. So, whenever I have the option of choosing my seat at the outset, I always go for exit row window. Sometimes I'm even secretly disappointed to get upgraded.

Currently I am in O’Hare hijacking a precious electrical outlet. Not only have many a laptop holder looked at me with sad longing, but even a few pilots (suck it, captains) have seen with great disappointment that I have found and dominated this scarce resource. I should probably offer to share. But I’ve been upgraded to first on my next flight.